


On the Road

by hunenka



Series: Together [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Blow Jobs, Gen, M/M, Metaphysics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:17:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunenka/pseuds/hunenka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're on the road again, all four of them. Saving people, hunting things. The family business. (Post <i>Sacrifice</i>.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Road

 

Even though Dean’s really come to love the bunker, it feels good – no, scratch that, it feels _right_ – to be back on the road again. Sam in the seat next to him, the sound of the Impala’s engine is like a lullaby, and Led Zeppelin is playing softly over the speakers as the miles run by in the dark of the night. Just like old times.

Well, not exactly like old times, Dean smiles softly as he throws a quick glance into the rear-view mirror. Both Kevin and Castiel are asleep, leaning against each other. Also, Cas is snoring. And it’s not the soft, quiet kind, but the chainsaw, wake your neighbors kind, too.

For some reason, Dean finds it hilarious and laughs, quickly covering his mouth with one hand to stifle the sounds.

“What’s so funny?” Sam asks, voice drowsy. He sits up a little straighter, stretches his arms and looks at his brother with interest.

“It’s not really that funny,” Dean shrugs. “Just that there’s a fallen angel in the back of my car, and he snores louder than anyone I’ve ever met.”

Sam just stares him a few seconds, expression unreadable. Then, “I think that’s pretty funny.”

It really isn’t, but they still laugh so hard they wake up everyone.

 

*

It usually goes like this: Kevin goes into the local library or archive to do research, Sam goes with Dean to investigate their latest case, and Cas is sent to go shopping. Not that he wouldn’t be useful elsewhere, but he always gets a discount, the bastard.

Dean suspects it’s because Cas still looks kind of helpless when faced with the endless variety of products. He looks like a lost puppy, but he’s got that determined air around him, the one that says “This is a difficult task, but I will do my best to accomplish it.” Dean thinks it’s cute, and apparently so do the women at the cashier. Or the waitresses. Or, in one case, the lady cop by whom they got pulled over when Cas was driving and forgot about the speed limit.

It must be the combination of motherly instincts and attraction – Cas is a good-looking guy, after all.

 

*

Yeah, Cas is pretty successful with the ladies. They always flash him an extra smile, hold his gaze a little longer than necessary, touch him when they don’t have to. And Cas just goes with it, smiling back, all sweet and charming. Almost as if he’s flirting with them.

It takes Dean a few days to realize that Cas is provoking him, and when he finally gets it, he’s not sure whether to be jealous or proud.

He settles for a bit of both, and pulls Castiel into a maintenance closet at the gas station, kicking the door shut and slamming Cas against it, holding him there with hands placed on Castiel’s shoulders. “Are you trying to drive me mad?”

Cas is grinning at him, downright dirty, and meets his gaze challengingly. “Maybe?” He licks his lips slowly, and Dean follows the movement with his eyes. “Is it working?”

Instead of answering, Dean smashes his lips against Cas’s, his tongue demanding entrance, and Cas grants it easily. Someone’s making high-pitched, desperate little sounds, and Dean’s not sure whether it’s him or Cas. Probably both.

Castiel’s hands are pushing him away suddenly until they break the kiss. Dean is just about to ask what the Hell is going on when Cas gives him another dirty grin and reaches into his pocket to pull out a small bottle of lube.

“God, I love you so much,” Dean mutters before reaching to undo Cas’s pants, wondering whether he should be ashamed of spoiling such angelic creature but not really giving a damn.

He fucks his angel right there, against the door, fast and messy and _perfect_.

After, they do their best to clean up, straighten their clothes and mussed up hair, but Dean’s sure they still look pretty suspicious. They share one more kiss – this time slow and sated – and open the door, sneaking out.

Dean hopes nobody’s going to see them, but of course, the universe ignores his hopes as always.

Sam is standing in the hallway, hands crossed on his chest and a reproachful look on his face. The look is directed at Dean. “Dean, really? Taking advantage of the poor innocent guy like this?” He tsks, shaking his head.

Dean starts to protest, because that’s totally unfair. “Hey! I wasn’t–“ He stops, looking at Cas for support. But Cas is giving him his best innocent expression, and nobody does innocence better than Cas, and Dean realizes he has no chance to win this.

“That’s what I thought,” Sam tells him, gives him his bitchface # 4 and leaves. As soon as he turns his back on them, Cas starts leering at Dean mischievously.

 _I’m so gonna make him pay for that later_ , Dean promises himself. Of course, that’s probably what Cas wants, too. “Innocent my ass,” he mutters, and hears Cas chuckle beside him.

 

*

Dean wakes up early, but it’s not because of a nightmare, which is happening more and more lately. Still, he can tell that he won’t be able to get any more sleep, so he slips from underneath the covers and gets dressed, quiet and careful not to wake Cas up.

He ends up with the Impala in the motel parking lot. He’s got time, so he opens the hood for an inspection. He’s usually been doing this with Cas lately, teaching him all about the mechanics of the car, and while that can be fun, it’s also nice to have some time with his Baby alone. He doesn’t want her to feel neglected, after all.

He’s just about done when he hears footsteps behind him. He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is; he’d recognize the sound – and smell – of his brother after his morning jog anywhere. “Hey, Sam.”

“Dean.” Sam’s face is sweaty and his stupid hair is sticking to the wet skin of his face and he’s wearing that ridiculous jogging outfit, but he looks… happy. Huh.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up,” Sam says quickly, sounding a bit defensive.

“I mean, you look happy,” Dean explains to prevent a misunderstanding.

“Oh.” Sam relaxes visibly. “Well, maybe I am.”

“Why the change? The world’s still as fucked up as ever. Maybe even more.” Last Sunday, a whole church full of people in Indiana was massacred during the mass. By demons, who are growing bolder every day, because the angels are gone. They haven’t told Cas or Kevin yet. Nothing to do about it now, no reason to bother them with it.

Sam’s smile disappears at that, causing Dean to immediately regret his words. “Yeah, I know. Our job’s never gonna be done.”

“Hey, that’s now what I meant.” At least, not for Sam.

But Sam shakes his head and offers Dean another smile. Not so bright as the one Dean took away from him, but still an honest smile. “It’s okay, Dean. I know we’re gonna be hunters till we die, but for the first time in my life, I’m thinking that might not be so bad.”

That makes absolutely no sense at all. “How so?”

“I mean, look at yourself,” Sam leans his back against the Impala comfortably. “You’ve got Cas, and you guys are going strong,” – that makes Dean smile, too – “and I was just thinking… Maybe there’s a chance I might find someone like that, too, you know.”

“A fallen male angel?” He just can’t help himself. The whole thing with Cas still sounds a bit unreal even to his own ears.

Rolling his eyes, Sam chuckles. “No, Dean. Despite your insistently claiming otherwise, I’m still strictly into girls. And that’s not the point anyway.”

“Then what is?”

“Well, if it was possible for you to find a… partner who is okay with your work, then it should be a sure thing for me. I’m way more agreeable than you.”

“You’re totally not.”

“Am too, jerk.”

“Bitch.”

 

*

They’re riding down the Interstate 40. Sam’s driving this time, Dean is in the back with Cas and Kevin is riding shotgun.

Kevin turns around to look at them. He’s been fidgeting for some time, obviously gathering courage for something. “Castiel? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Cas replies, shifting a little beside Dean.

“How old are you?”

Castiel frowns slightly, thinking about his answer. “I have been human for one month, two weeks, five–“

“No, that’s not what I meant,” the kid interrupts him impatiently. “How old were you as an angel?”

Dean holds his breath, watching Cas closely for a reaction. Sometimes, Cas can talk about being an angel and be okay, but sometimes he gets cranky or depressed, and Dean still hasn’t been able to tell which one it’s going to be.

“That question makes no sense,” Cas says finally, head tilted to one side thoughtfully.

“Sure it does,” Kevin insists. “God created you, right? So when were you created?”

“Firstly, that is not the same question,” Castiel intones sternly, and for a moment it’s like he’s an angel again, distant and all-knowing. “Secondly, it makes no sense either.”

“How come?” Sam joins the conversation, sounding as interested as Dean feels. Okay, so probably more.

“You cannot speak of _when_ and _how old_ in a realm in which time does not exist.”

“Huh?” All three of them say at once.

“In their pure form, angels exist outside of time.”

Wow. That’s confusing. “So, you mean that it’s always _now_ in Heaven?” Dean asks, trying to clarify.

Cas gives him a surprised look, then shakes his head. “Where there’s no time, there can be no _now_. There is no _before_ or _after_ either.”

“But how can Lucifer be the first angel ever created then?” Sam sounds excited now, the whole thing apparently an interesting metaphysical topic or whatever. The nerd. “If he was the first, he had to be created _before_ the others, right?”

Castiel shakes his head again, but this time it seems more like frustration than disagreement. “It cannot be explained in any language known to men. And it cannot be grasped by the human brain.”

“Then how come you understand it?” Kevin asks.

Cas looks down at his knees, suddenly looking desolate. “I don’t. Not anymore. But I remember having understood it before.”

None of them knows what to say, so they shut up. Dean takes Cas’s hand in his, squeezing gently in comfort. It’s not much, but it’s all he has.

“It’s kind of like Saint Augustin,” Kevin says after a while.

“Yeah, his _Confessions_ ,” Sam nods immediately. Dean has no idea what he’s talking about, but that’s not so unusual. “The whole ‘You cannot ask what God was doing before he created time because time didn’t exist until he created it’ thing.”

“Exactly!” Kevin is nodding at Sam, who is nodding back at him. “I was getting headaches just from reading that stuff.”

“Saint Augustin was a great man,” Castiel speaks quietly, solemnly. His hand is still in Dean’s, and Dean grips him tighter. “I remember the strength of his faith and the hopelessness of his struggle to comprehend the incomprehensible.”

The mood in the car is worse than at a funeral. Dean feels he should lighten it up somehow. “Hey, my attempts at comprehending this conversation are hopeless too. Does that make me a saint?”

“Absolutely,” Cas tells him with a serious expression on his face. He’s gotten better at acting, apparently.

“Really?” Dean asks hopefully.

“No.”

But Cas smiles at him. It’s not a big smile, and it barely reaches his eyes, but it’s still something.

 

*

They stay away from the theology and metaphysics after that.

Cas still broods for the rest of the day, though. He just stares out of the window, speaks only in monosyllabic words and even his favorite chocolate bar is not enough to appease him. If it wasn’t so sad, it would be almost funny.

 

*

Kevin is beaming with pride. He’s so full of it it’s a miracle he doesn’t take off like a balloon.

Dean can’t really blame him, though. The kid’s done really great today, saving a middle-aged couple from a vampire all by himself while Dean, Sam and Cas were busy elsewhere. He even chopped off the bastard’s head, just like Dean had taught him, and Dean feels really proud of him.

They’re all sitting in a pub now, celebrating with food and alcohol and there’s a lot of laugher around the table and Cas is sitting next to Dean, his arm around Dean’s neck and his head resting on Dean’s shoulder.

“You know, guys, now I get why you do it,” Kevin is just explaining for what must be the fifth time. He probably shouldn’t have gotten that much beer. “The whole hunter business. It feels good to help people. I’ve decided. I wanna do that, too.”

Dean feels himself stiffen a bit, but he does his best to keep the smile on his face. It doesn’t really matter what Kevin wants to do. Once you start hunting, you can never stop. Death is the only way out. And if you’re a Winchester, even that doesn’t have to be permanent.

Cas must’ve noticed something’s wrong with Dean, because he’s watching him observantly, the same way he used to when he could still see into Dean’s soul. He looks concerned, the question _Are you alright?_ clear in his eyes.

Dean forces himself to smile wider, nodding slightly. He draws Cas closer, though, finding comfort in his presence.

When he looks across the table, he sees that Sam is watching him, too, and his brother’s smile seems a little forced also. Sam knows what’s going on in Dean’s head. Of course he knows.

 

*

It seems like their lucky streak is over. The demons and monsters are getting bolder each day, the number of casualties is rising rapidly and weird, freaky stuff is all over the news all the time. It’s almost like Lucifer all over again.

Sure, Dean is grateful for what he has (Sam is alright, Cas is with him, Kevin is safe). But having more means you can also lose more, and that’s something that’s always on his mind. It scares him a lot.

It’s quickly becoming too much to handle, it feels like there’s too much pressure on Dean once again, and if he doesn’t do something soon, it’s going to crush him.

He needs to unwind. Let go. Forget about the world, about himself. Clear his head.

Normally, he’d go hit the bars, find a girl and give her his best. Concentrate on her, and her only, on the sounds she’d make as he ate her out, on the way she’d get all wet and slick for him, her body tensing under his touch and then melting, going pliant with release.

But he doesn’t do that anymore. He doesn’t have to.

He practically drags Cas into their room, slams the door shot with a bang so loud everyone in the motel must’ve heard it, then pushes Cas against the wall and kisses him briefly, hands already going to the fly of Cas’s jeans.

“Cas, I need…” he whispers into Castiel’s mouth as he pushes his jeans and boxers down his thighs, wrapping one hand around Cas’s erection and drawing a rough moan from him.

“I know,” Cas tells him. It’s not the first time they’ve done this. “Go on.” His hands are on Dean’s shoulders, pushing, and Dean goes to his knees.

He doesn’t waste any more time after that. He takes Cas in his mouth, wrapping his lips around the head in a tight circle, pressing on the underside with his tongue. Above him, Cas lets out a shaky moan.

Dean closes his eyes and shuts everything down. No thinking, no analyzing, no worrying. He lets his instincts take over, his mind going blank.

He takes Cas deeper, and then deeper still, until he can feel him at the back of his throat, then pulls back, sucking at the tip before swallowing him whole again.

Castiel’s hands are in his hair, the grip tight enough to be just this side of painful, and Cas starts thrusting into his mouth. He’s not careful about it, he knows Dean can take it, _needs_ to take it. And Dean does his best, sucking hard and swallowing around Cas, working with his lips, tongue and throat to give Cas all he can.

The outside world disappears, Dean disappears, Cas disappears. All that stays is his mouth on Cas’s cock and it’s simple and pure and _just_ what he needed.

Cas comes with a hoarse shout and Dean swallows it all and licks him clean, eyes still closed and his mind clear.

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice is a little rough, but at the same time gentle and loving.

He finally opens his eyes and looks up at the face of his angel, who is watching him carefully.

“Come here,” Cas whispers and Dean goes. They kiss for a long time, slow, unhurried, and so, so _close_.

Later, Cas hugs him, and Dean rests his forehead on Castiel’s, listening to his breathing, to the calming sound of his voice.

“Look at me,” Cas orders him and Dean does, meeting Cas’s eyes. So blue, so wide, so full of trust and love. “It’s going to be alright,” the fallen angel tells him, and Dean smiles at the irony; it’s not that long ago that their positions were reversed and it was Dean comforting Cas with practically the same words.

“You and Sam, you’ve already done so much,” Cas goes on, his thumbs rubbing circles over Dean’s temples. “You’ve been through Hell and Purgatory, you stopped the Apocalypse, you defeated the Leviathan. This? This is… easy as pie.”

“Thou shalt not take the name of pie in vain,” Dean admonishes him and Cas smacks him on the head playfully, smiling.

“Come to bed,” Castiel takes him by the hand and Dean follows him. He’d follow him anywhere.

 

*

The next morning, they’re on the road again, heading to another town, another case.

Sam is sitting next to Dean, studying a map, lips pursed in concentration. Cas and Kevin are in the back, bickering like small children over some ancient text that might possibly help them with unlocking the Heaven’s gates.

Dean feels much better now. And even though he’s sure that won’t last forever, he knows there are people around him who will reach out and catch him if he stumbles. Just like he will always catch them.

ACDC’s _Back in Black_ comes on and Dean turns the volume up.

 

END


End file.
